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2009 Parade of Bad Nativities

By Robyn Broyles, December 21, 2009 10:27



Bad taste knows no bounds! And as a result, I had no trouble collecting material for an all-new Parade of Bad Nativities. I'm not sure whether this is good or bad ... but I will let you judge for yourself.

Species confusion

The critter nativities start with dogs...

Weiner dog dachsund nativity scene

Everybody loves dachsunds, right? At least Baby Jesus is human.

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... cats ...

Cats nativity set

Check out the one on the right. Did American Indians even have cats?

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... and hamsters.

Mice, hamsters, or something manger scene

The 20 siblings of Baby Jesus are not pictured.

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Venturing outside the realm of mammals, one finds songbird nativities:

Cardinals birds manger scene

Female cardinals are yellow. That means the Virgin Mary is a boy. Sexists!

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songbirds nativity set

Do the magi really have to perch on top of each other? There's plenty of room on the roof with the angel-bird.

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But who said nativity art had to stick to living beings?

Snowman wise men

They fell down, all right—as soon as the sun came out.

Sci-fi nativities

The Sci Fi Catholic should appreciate these:

Robot wise men nativity scene

The robot magi brought gifts of chrome, industrial lubricant, and rechargeable lithium batteries.

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Star Wars aliens lego nativity

"O Come, all ye Je-di / Made of plastic Leg-os!"

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Horror monsters Lovecraft fish god nativity scene

From left to right: Dracula, a cow, a terrified Baby Jesus, Bride of Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster, the Wolfman, and Dagon the Fish God.

The Adventures of Baby Jesus

The Holy Family apparently got tired of sitting around in that barn. Everyone likes to go do fun activities with the family during the holidays!

Put out the fire, Baby Jesus!

Can Baby Jesus really drive that fire truck from on top of the cab?

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Rock concert nativity

He's the lead singer even before He's old enough to talk.

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Nativity in an aquarium with fish

They're breathing underwater! It's a Christmas miracle!

Creative building materials

Nativity scenes don't have to be painted on canvas or fashioned from molded plastic. The only limit to the nativity set's artistic medium is the artist's imagination:

Cake wrecks nativity scene orange explosion

Baby Jesus on a heap of carrots. Believe it or not, I didn't steal this one from the blog Cake Wrecks.

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Scrap metal nativity scene

I think this is just scrap metal, but my sister thinks it should be marketed as an "Awesome Steampunk Nativity Set."

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Muddy Swiss roll polymer clay wise man

I think this wise man is made of polymer clay. The artist's lazy technique of forming sheets of clay into cylinders makes me think of a mud-pie version of something else:

Swiss rolls

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Beads and straw punk hair nativity set

If you use beads and straw, you can make a nativity set with punk 80s hairdos! The plastic star bases are a nice touch, don't you think?

Their heart was in the right wrong place

Just ... read the captions.

Eskimo Nativity set

Were they trying to be multicultural, or do they just think Eskimos are cute? Either way, they should have thought twice about that moose and bear. Those should have been the, er, number two choice.

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British flag, tartan clothes nativity scene

So if Mary placed the Babe in a manger full of animal feed, what are they saying about the Union Jack? Joseph's accessories are a nice touch here. Not sure why he's holding an alarm clock.

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Barbie frrrl power with rubber duck nativity

So if Fairy Barbie, Xena Barbie, Hijab Barbie, and Miss America Barbie all got together to worship a baby, would it be Jesus? Nah, it would be a rubber duckie, of course! You're the one!

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Terrified, deer in the headlights nativity

Did these nativities leave you feeling like a deer in the headlights, too?

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Tags: image galleries, bad nativities, humor, culture

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